


Not A Single Word

by PatrickStumpIsPerfection



Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy
Genre: Can be platonic or romantic, Feels, M/M, Mmm sadness, Patrick whump, Suicide attemp, implied peterick - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-16
Updated: 2018-02-16
Packaged: 2019-03-19 09:45:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13701936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PatrickStumpIsPerfection/pseuds/PatrickStumpIsPerfection
Summary: angsty as fuck.(not as poorly written as this description, actually includes proper grammar and stuff I'm just lazy and tired it's 11pm ok)Patrick has made a mistake and Pete starts contemplating life outside a hospital room at 4am before conffessing his love in said hospital room to very sad Patrick because people were assess on sp tours.takes place around 2011-12. during the hiatus!!!!tw: kind of centered around suicide (it's very vague though and there's no graphic detail)!!!





	Not A Single Word

**Author's Note:**

> ok so I wrote this while insanely sleep deprived last week and it takes place during the hiatus and i don't know how to do italics on ao3 and there is a cover for it if you read it on wattpad, i'll stop ranting now

He called me at 3am on a Tuesday.   
“i fucked up”  
At first i was confused.   
“what”  
After all we hadn't spoken in months.   
“Pete i fucked up bad, really bad”  
And what he was saying was really worrying.   
“wait where are you”  
So i ended up sitting in my car in a panic.   
“home, i think, idontknow just help! please”  
He had started crying and i was freaking out.   
“Patrick, calm down. I'm driving to your house right now, I'll be there soon just calm down”  
And i tried to calm down if it meant he could do the same.   
“i don't know if I can! Pete i, i p-pete i m-might die”  
And i had been guessing what was going on and hoping it wasn't this but oh.   
“please tell me you didn't…”  
“I'm sorry i, I tried t-to, i changed my mind! Pete i don't wanna d-die”  
It was.   
“I'm almost there, stay on the phone please just keep talking to me”  
“ok”  
And oh, his voice sounded so small.  
“what, what made you change your mind?”  
“i remembered how i felt when you… i didn't want you to feel like that because of me”

Even though it wasn't “i finally realised how amazing and perfect i am”, it was something and it was good enough.  
It still is.  
I've been waiting outside a hospital room since 4am, technically it's not visiting hours and i shouldn't be here but they're letting me see him as soon as i can because fucking hell my best friend tried to kill himself at 3am and i can't stop thinking about it and oh now i know how he felt when…  
And i remember so clearly, so very clearly the conversation we had after i did that, the promise i made to never try anything like that again and i remember exactly what i said to him. I remember telling him, begging him “please, please never end up like that Patrick. Please don't get to the point where you make that decision, don't ever get that low, I've been through it, i understand everything about it. If you ever feel like that please tell me please you can't end up like me!”. I remember him nodding and saying he won't, but never promising, when i promised i thought of it whenever i wanted to do that again, but he had nothing to think of then except for one bad experience. He never promised not to, when i wanted to do that again i thought of what i promised to Patrick and kept it, but he couldn't, if he had promised he would have had a reason not to but he didn't.   
The band is split up, everyone seems to hate him, our last conversation (before this) was an argument and he had nothing to hold onto, I've got a reason and I'm better now, but he couldn't think of one, i could have just given him a reason to keep going and prevent this, i could have helped i cou-  
“You can see him now”  
I look up to see a nurse walking away and assume they just told me i can see him, and i burst through the door and oh he's so  
“h-hey Pete”  
“Hey Patrick, are you alri- um stupid question, uh i”  
“sorry” (he sounds so sad and oh my heart)  
“what”  
“sorry for everything”  
“don't be”  
“why?”  
“you don't need to be sorry”  
“but I, I'm i ruined so much and and i don't why”  
“calm down”  
“o-ok”  
“you're so amazing”  
“what”  
“it's true, you're the most perfect person i know and it's so shit that you feel so shit and i used to feel shit and you helped me and I want to help you back and I just don't know what I'd do without you and Patrick you are so so so, there isn't a word to describe you properly but i think i love you and it's shit that it took this to make me realise but Patrick”


End file.
